What Is Your Parenting Style? Empowering Parenting Tips And Advice Article by Stephanie Lahart.

What are you teaching your children? What are you NOT teaching your children? Do you even take parenting seriously?

Many people have children knowing that they aren't parent material. Many people have children for their own selfish reasons. Many people have children and they know darn well that they can’t afford to take care of them. Many people have children to try to save a relationship. Many people have children because they feel pressured to do so. Many people have children “just because.”

If You’re a Parent, Ask Yourself:

·         Do my children disrespect me

·         Have my children ever hit me

·         Do my children have control over me and the household

·         Is my child/children a bully

·         Do they not respect themselves or others

·         Do my children NOT get along with others

·         Do my children steal from me

·         Does my child/children get bad grades in school

·         Does my child/children have low self-esteem

If you answered YES to any of the questions above, then you may want to keep on reading. You may or may not be ready to accept what I’m about to say, but I ask that you give it some time to sink in. NOBODY likes to feel like they've failed at parenting, but the truth is, we aren't perfect. We don’t always get it right, but we do have an obligation to teach, discipline, correct, nurture, and support our children. They need our guidance so that they will have a better chance at growing up to be overall good people.

When children are young, some parents blow off unacceptable behavior. You allow your kids to talk back and totally disrespect you. You allow them to get away with hitting. You bribe your children with material things, just so they’ll do what you want them to do. You try so hard to be their friend that you forget that you’re their parent first. You overlook their not-so-good behavior. You make excuses for why they do the things that they do. You don’t hold your children accountable for the choices that they make. They don’t listen or follow rules. And your children have an “I don’t care” attitude.

I know that’s a lot to take in, but for some of you reading this, it’s the truth. And sometimes hearing and facing the truth can sting, and YES, even hurt. But I challenge you to really take a look at your parenting style. What kind of things do you say and do around your children? Are you truly setting an example? What can you change and/or do better? What is your parenting style doing for your children? Can you honestly say that you’re proud of who your children are? And most importantly, can you say with all honesty that YOU’RE a good parent? Remember: Good parenting has nothing to do with what we buy our children or what we do for them. Real parenting goes way further than that. It’s NOT material. You can’t buy their love or respect.

You can give a child EVERYTHING, and they can still give you hell and mistreat you.

If you haven’t done so already, I encourage you to take the steps to make a change. Your children may go against you at first, but stand firm. You have to lay down some ground rules and stick to it. No matter how hard it gets, don’t give up and don’t give in! Your children are acting out because you have allowed this to go on for far too long. Maybe you’re trying to make up for something, but letting your children get away with this kind of behavior is NOT acceptable.

You are the parent! Don’t allow your children to even think that they have control over you. You’ve got to dig deep within your soul and find the strength to take control and get your house in order. Imagine the peace that you will have! Imagine how peaceful your household will be in general. Imagine your life in harmony. Just imagine!

I don’t want you to feel sorry for yourself either. I need you to do what it is you have to do. Things may not be what you want them to be at this moment, and you have to be willing to accept that. Accept it and move forward. Reflect on how you got here and what you can do differently now. Make up in your mind what you’re not willing to accept anymore.

Your children do NOT have a right to disrespect you in any kind of way. Don’t make excuses.

If you have done all that you can possibly do, don’t be ashamed to try counseling and/or reach out to somebody that you feel could impact the situation in a positive manner. There’s nothing wrong with seeking help.

I’ll Leave You with These Tips:

·         Communicate, communicate, communicate.

·         Listen. Listen carefully.

·         Show love. Genuine love.

·         Encourage. Don’t be negative and discouraging.

·         Spend quality time with your children.

·         Show them that you appreciate them.

·         Set good examples for them to follow. They are watching you. They don’t miss anything.

·         Don’t be SO busy that they feel ignored and/or unimportant. Find a good balance.

It’s going to take work, a lot of work. But I’m sure you’d agree that your family is worth it. Your family is worth the fight.

Don’t be afraid to invite change into your lives. The New Year is right around the corner. Do yourself a favor and start the process now! 

- Stephanie Lahart (Author & Poet) 

Let There Be LIGHT: A Passage by Stephanie Lahart

Let there be light in how you treat others. Let there be light in your attitude. Let there be light in your personality. Let there be light in your behavior. Let there be light in your conversations. Let there be light in your thinking. Let there be light in how you carry yourself.

When people come into contact with you, does your light shine? Take a minute to think about it. Are you one of those people that like to start arguments? Are you one of those people that bring down the mood? Are you one of those people who gossip all of the time? Are you one of those people that are always negative and have nothing positive to say? Are you one of those people that others dislike to see coming? Are you one of those people that are self-centered? Are you one of those people that like to start rumors and keep up drama?  Are you one of those people that have a bad attitude?

What kind of person are you? That’s a valid question that most people don’t take the time out to think about. If your light isn't shining or it’s dull, it’s time to make some changes in your life. NOBODY likes to be around people who bring them down. BUT, there’s no need to feel bad if you do some of the things that I've pointed out. This is an eye-opener for you and an opportunity for you to make some changes. Change is good, especially if it’s going to better you as a person. I challenge you to really take a look at YOU. What do you see?

- Stephanie Lahart (Author & Poet) 

No Longer: A Passage by Stephanie Lahart

No longer will I allow you to talk down to me. No longer will I be afraid to speak and take up for myself. No longer will I allow your words to hurt me. No longer will I compare myself to the next person. No longer will I feel guilty for saying “NO.”  No longer will I be afraid to eat and enjoy the foods that I like. No longer will I give up on my goals. No longer will I start something and not finish it. No longer will I play second when I should be first. No longer will I allow you to physically or emotionally hurt me. No longer will I allow my precious time to be wasted on senseless things.

 No longer will I be too busy to enjoy and create lasting memories with the people that I say I love. No longer will I be too busy to hear you. No longer will I take your kindness for weakness. No longer will I look for a way out. I will face my fears and disappointments. No longer will I make excuses. No longer will I put off today what is not promised to me tomorrow. No longer will I listen and accept your negativity. No longer will I carry the weight other peoples’ problems. No longer will I be afraid to go out by myself. No longer will I allow my attitude to get the best of me. No longer will I be afraid to make important decisions for myself. No longer will I fail to follow through on what I said that I’d do. No longer will I doubt my abilities. I will give myself a chance. No longer will I allow my past to define who I should be. No longer will I be afraid to take chances.

Today I choose to live life more abundantly. I won’t allow anything or anyone to get in the way of me having complete peace in my life. There’s nothing like having inner peace.

 Choose this day to make that change. Make the necessary adjustments in your life so that you can experience and live in complete peace too.

- Stephanie Lahart (Author & Poet) 

Loneliness: A Passage by Stephanie Lahart

Beware of loneliness. It’ll surely cause you to do things that you’ll later regret.

Loneliness will have you doing things that you never thought you’d do. Loneliness will have you hanging out in places where you know you don’t belong. Loneliness will cause your mind to think about things that are way out of your character. Loneliness will have you lying, cheating, sneaking around, making excuses about the things that you’re doing, and have you start to believe that it’s okay. Loneliness will have you fantasizing about things that you wouldn't normally dare act upon. Loneliness will eventually cause you to question: “What’s wrong with me, why hasn't anybody chosen me?” It will slowly tear down your self-esteem. Loneliness will cause you to hang out with the wrong crowd. Loneliness can attach itself to you and, before you know it, you’ll become a slave to whatever it wants you to do.

I’ll say it again. Beware of loneliness! Loneliness can break you ALL the way down. It can have you addicted to sex, drugs, alcohol, hurting yourself, and so many other things that are unhealthy to your well-being.

That is why it’s so important to love yourself. Things and people cannot complete you or make you whole. You have to reach deep down in your soul and tell yourself: “I may be lonely, but I will NOT subject my soul to hell. I will not lower myself for a quick fix in my life.” You have to understand, it’s just that…A quick fix. Take the time and play the tape all the way through. Ask yourself: “If I do this or if I do that,” what will be the consequences? How will this affect my life? Then go a little further. Ask yourself the big question: “Is this worth ruining my life?” 

We have to value our lives. Each day that we wake up and breathe, it is a gift that shouldn't be taken for granted. It’s important to know that everything has its place and time. Learn to be strong and content by yourself. Your time will come. But, in the meantime, love yourself. Take the time to get to know who you really are as a person. Be patient and remember this: When we try to rush and make things happen before its time, it’s sure to fail. Take this precious time to work on yourself, get to know yourself better, and don’t forget to love yourself. Self-Love is important and needed. You are important! You matter! You count!

- Stephanie Lahart (Author & Poet) 

Don't Be In a Rush: A Passage by Stephanie Lahart

I want you to take a close look at your life. Do you find yourself rushing all of the time?

 Well, Think about THIS: We go about living our lives on a daily basis, and we have what we call a “to-do list.” We have to do grocery shopping, stop by the cleaners, pick our children up from day care/school, wash the car, walk and feed the pets, go by the bank. And the list goes on and on.

Every day we do what would be considered “the norm.” We get SO busy that sometimes we forget to slow down and appreciate life as it should be. Don’t get me wrong, all of these things that we do are important, but it’s also equally important to find a good balance with everything else in our lives. Learn to relax. Don’t be in a rush. Take your time, and remember to value the things that are truly important. Many people don’t realize just how valuable life is until something tragic happens. I’m going to give you an eye-opening example of what I’m talking about.

Do you take the time to hug and/or kiss your loved ones every day? Do you take the time to cook and then sit down with the family to enjoy it? Do you take time out of your day to just laugh, smile, or unwind from it all? Do you make time for “family time?” Do you take the time to ask your mate or somebody who’s close to you “How was your day” and be patient enough to allow them to answer and then talk about it? Do you take the time to say “I love you?” Do you take the time to sit down and have long, deep conversations? Do you allow yourself time to do what you enjoy, or do you spend all of your time only doing what you HAVE to do? 

Can you sit through an entire movie or show without answering or looking at your phone? Are you too busy on the computer that you don’t even notice what’s really going on in your household? Do you allow your mind to take a break and rest? Did you stop doing something that you love because you feel like you’re too old? Remember, age is just a number. When was the last time, or have you ever taken a long train ride and enjoyed the sound, sights, and people around you?

 I could go on and on, but I think that you get my point by now. We have to allow time for the things that really matter. Now that I've got your attention, it’s time for you to ask yourself: “What can I do to bring balance into my life?” When we know better, we should do better. You owe it to yourself. Live life to the fullest! Value what’s most important, and allow yourself to enjoy all of the peace that comes with it.

- Stephanie Lahart (Author & Poet) 

Stephanie Lahart Relationship Poems | Deep Relationship and Love Poems for Her | Poetry About Relationship Problems | Confused Love Poems for Her | Mixed Feelings and Emotions About Relationship

Torn and Confused A Poem by Stephanie Lahart

Damn! I HATE that I’m feeling this way.
I know how much you love and adore me
Always sacrificing and spoiling me
Putting me first and taking care of me
And I know very well that you’re crazy about me

Crazy about my smile
Crazy about my walk
Crazy about the way I carry myself
Crazy about my personality
Crazy about the whole package that you see in me

I love and care for you, but I’m questioning
If I’m “in love” with you
I don’t understand why I’m feeling this way
Women would kill to have a man like you
I’m so fucking torn and confused

I don’t want to hurt you or cause you any pain
I don’t want to break your heart like the others did.
Deep down in my heart
I know you couldn't handle that kind of pain again
I care SO much for you, BUT…

I feel lonely. I feel like I need something new.
I’m bored in this relationship
I feel like I’m not living
The everyday routine is just not enough
I need to see and experience new things

I need to get out of the “norm”
I've got this need to fly and be free
Meet new people and live life on the edge
Make mistakes and let loose
Live on the wild side

When I think about causing you pain
My heart hurts to the core
Can’t stand the fact that I've changed
Growing apart from you, and yet still love you

What am I to do?


Written by Stephanie Lahart
California Author and Poet

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! #StephanieLahart

Stephanie Lahart Self Poems | Inspirational Poem about Living Life, Forgiving Yourself, and Allowing Yourself to be Loved | Poems about Being Free and Living Life | Encouraging Poems for Him and Her

Allow Yourself to Be Free A Poem by Stephanie Lahart 

Open up your heart to receive the love that you deserve.
Let your past mistakes make you stronger and wiser.
Forgive yourself and be at peace.
Love yourself and see the best in yourself!
Respect yourself!
Be good to yourself!
Take care of yourself because YOU are important!

Leave your comfort zone behind.
Get out and see new things.
Experience all that life has to offer 
Be spontaneous!
Let down your guards!
Do things that bring happiness to you!
Smile and laugh, laugh and smile.
You’re on your way to being free!

LIVE, and don’t just exist.
Make every day count for something.
Create memories that will live after you’re gone.
Love, love unconditionally.
Allow yourself to be vulnerable, because it’s okay.
Communicate your feelings, don’t hold them in.
Be bold, and stand up for what you believe.

Don’t settle for less than what you deserve.
Always remember how important you are.
Don’t allow anybody to keep you down.
Stand tall!
Keep your head up!
Never lose confidence in yourself!

We all make mistakes; nobody’s perfect.
Learn, grow, and do better.
Pay attention to life and life will show you many things.
Increase your knowledge and be open to learn.
Never underestimate what you can learn or do.
Give yourself chances and don’t doubt yourself!

To be free is to really live.
Live your life and live it well.
No more regrets!
No more shame!
No more thinking about what you should’ve done!
NO MORE!


LIVE! That’s all... LIVE and be free!


Written by Stephanie Lahart 
California Author and Poet

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! #StephanieLahart

Inspiration, Encouragement, and Motivation for Today

Really? So you’re willing to give up and walk away just like that? What about all of the hard work that you've put in thus far? Listen, I know things are a bit discouraging right now and sometimes you don’t know what you’re doing, but things will smooth out over time. You've got to stay focused. You've got to see the bigger picture. Don’t be so quick to walk away from your dreams. As with anything important, you have to put time and effort into it. Stay committed and don’t lose your drive.

Take a break if you have to... It’s okay! But do NOT give up on yourself or your dreams. Sometimes people give up right when they’re at the finish line. You don’t know it, but you’re actually right there and then you quit. There are times when you may want to give up, but I encourage you to remind yourself of why this is important to you and why you can’t quit.

Don’t quit on yourself and don’t quit on your dreams. No matter how difficult or tiring things may get, push through every obstacle that’s trying to block your destiny. Give yourself permission to slow down, reassess, and/or relax for a bit. Again, it’s okay! Sometimes things can get a bit overwhelming and you just need to chill.

Be encouraged today and throughout your journey. It will be worth every struggle and challenge that you may face. Keep up the great work and PERSEVERE.

#Goals #Success #Education #Career #Life #Entrepreneur 

Dating Advice for Women by Stephanie Lahart

So, you hate being single and you don’t understand why you can’t find the right man to share your life with. Every time you think you've found “the one,” he ends up being just like the others you've had before. You've questioned yourself, “Why do I keep attracting the same kind of man? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I find a man that will respect and love me? Why do I attract men that like to cheat, lie, abuse me, and treat me like shit?”

Well, this is where I would like to offer you some powerful food-for-thought. But first, I need you to have an open mind so that you will be able to embrace what I’m about to say. You may be in a vulnerable position at this time, and you may not even want to face YOUR truth, but I encourage you to keep reading. This may be the day that you break free in your mind and spirit.

Food-For-Thought just for YOU:

I need you to take a good look at yourself. How do you REALLY feel about yourself? I need you to be honest when answering this question. Here’s the reason why: When you have low self-esteem, you tend to think that you have to accept anything in a relationship. You feel like you can’t do any better. You also feel like you can change that man, but I’m here to tell you, you can’t. You overlook and/or make excuses for why he does what he does. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why you do that?

Why do you feel that it’s okay to allow somebody to abuse you? Why do you put up with him staying out all night long? Talking badly to you? Why do you allow him to control you? Why are you afraid to speak up? Why do you stay with somebody who makes you sad and miserable? Why do you subject yourself to emotional distress? Why, why, why?

You may say that you don’t have low self-esteem, but I need you to take another look at yourself and go deep down in your soul. What happened to you? What have you seen? Something in your life made you think that this is okay.

If you love yourself, there are certain things that you just won’t put up with. Self-love is powerful! You respect yourself. You take care of yourself. You’re good to yourself, and you won’t accept anything less from others. Why? Because you value who YOU are.

There’s nothing wrong with being single. Embrace being single and having a peace of mind. What’s the use of being in a relationship if you’re not being mentally and physically fulfilled? A healthy relationship is a beautiful thing. It doesn't consist of drama, hurt, pain, confusion, lies, cheating, beatings, being mentally drained, etc. That’s NOT love. A person can speak the words, “I love you” but it means nothing without action behind it. You shouldn't have to beg for love. It should come naturally, if it’s the real deal.

Ladies, you have to love yourself first. I can’t stress that enough. If you’re feeling lonely, dealing with self-esteem issues, trying to get over your ex, searching to feel whole, trying to fill some kind of void, etc… It starts with YOU. A man won’t fix the problem. All it will do is open the door once again for a dead-end relationship filled with many disappointments. I’ll say it again, embrace being single. Stop being in a rush or hard up to be with a man. Give yourself peace! Slow down, think wisely, and choose a man that’s worth your love. Stop giving your love to men who don’t deserve it. Work on yourself from the inside out. Do it for YOU! You’ll be better off in the long run. Save yourself the heartache and headache. It’s not worth it, but you are! 

- Stephanie Lahart (Author & Poet) 

Stephanie Lahart Poems | Verbal Abuse Poems for Him and Her | Verbally Abused Poems | Emotionally Abused Poems

Who Told You Poem by Stephanie Lahart 

Who told you that you were worthless?

Who told you that nobody would ever love you?

Who told you that you’d never amount to anything?

Who told you that you weren't pretty or handsome enough?

Who told you that NOBODY cares for you?

Always compared to others.

Never could do anything right.

Ridiculed and talked down upon.

You were a loser in their eyes.

Unwanted, unloved, and alone.

Yearning to be loved and accepted.

Yearning to be hugged.

Yearning to hear kind words.

Yearning to feel important.

Yearning to feel whole and complete.

Life has been a complicated road for you.

Mentally abused from the ones who should love you.

I know it’s been a painful road,

But I encourage you to forgive, heal and let it go.

Do it for you!

I know that words hurt and they cut deep,

But you've made it thus far!

Don’t you dare give people that much power over you.

Remember who YOU are! Know that YOU are worthy!

Always hold your head up high!

Forgive, heal, and let it go.

You've got a healthy life to live.

Rid yourself of hate, resentments, and anger.

Live a joyful life!

Live your life in peace... Complete peace!

It’s time!

Written by Stephanie Lahart
California Author and Poet 

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! #StephanieLahart 

Stephanie Lahart Poems | Poems About Drugs Destroying Families | Poems About Drug Addiction for Him and Her | Inspirational Poems Drug Addiction | Drug Poems for Teens and Youth

DRUGS Poem by Stephanie Lahart

All you do is ruin people’s lives!

You erase every dream.

Break up and destroy families.

Take away any and all self-esteem.

Cause people to lie, steal,

And subject themselves to do just about anything.

DRUGS

Women

Men

Teens

And, sadly to say, some young kids too.

Giving up their body,

Being used and abused.

Selling their soul for a quick fix.

Addicted and can’t find their way out.

A slave to do whatever it wants them to do.

DRUGS

Sadness

Hurt

Pain

Lost

Sorrow

Darkness

Families are hurting.

Praying for a miracle.

Asking themselves “what went wrong?”

Some, taking all of the blame.

Can’t seem to forgive themselves.

Anguish. Heartbreak. Disappointed.

Nobody wins!

Drugs have control and they won’t let you go.

Trapped in your own mind,

No strength to break free.

You feel you’re a lost cause, so let you be.

DRUGS

If you haven’t used drugs, don’t even start.

As you can see, drugs will tear your life apart,

Or take your life altogether.

There’s NOTHING fun about using drugs,

Don’t believe the hype.

DRUGS only

Kill

Steal

And destroy lives!

Think about your actions.

Think about the choices you make.

Think about what you’re getting ready to do.

THINK!

Think it all the way through.

Drugs aren't your friend!

It won’t make things better!

It won’t make things go away.

It won’t make you happy.

It will simply take everything away that you love and care about.

THINK!

Think it all the way through.

THINK!

There’s nothing in this for you but destruction.

Live your life wisely!

Be good to yourself!

Take care of yourself.
Love yourself!
But if you're not strong enough to do it on your own,
I encourage you to get help...
Do it for YOU.

Make no mistake about it...
YOU count!

Written by Stephanie Lahart
California Author and Poet

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! #StephanieLahart

Stephanie Lahart Poems | Poems About Relationships in Trouble | Relationship Problems Love Poems for Her | Poems About Relationships Falling Apart

You and I Poem by Stephanie Lahart 

I miss the way we used to be.

Laughing.

Loving.

Understanding.

Respected one another’s feelings.

Out and about,

Always trying something new.

Living life and creating memorable memories.

Lengthy conversations about our life together.

We were truly something special.

Supportive in every way possible.

Believed in one another,

Nothing could come between us.

We meant everything to each other.

What happened to our special love?

I want to feel what I used to feel.

I want us back again.

I know it’s still there.

I know we both still care.

You and I will rise above it all!

We will have courage.

We will be each other’s strength.

We will remind ourselves of who WE are.

We are one.

We were meant to be, so we shall stand together.

Nothing can stop us, but us.

Giving up on us is not an option.

Circumstances won’t get the best of us.

We've got this! We've got each other!

Deep down inside of us, we've got genuine love.

Nothing or nobody can stop us, baby!

Let’s rise to the top!

Let’s show them what we’re made of!

Our relationship is many things,

But most importantly, it is LOVE!

Written by Stephanie Lahart
California Author and Poet  

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! #StephanieLahart 

Stephanie Lahart Abusive Relationship Poems for Her | Abusive Boyfriend and Husband Poems | Emotionally and Mentally Abusive Relationships Poetry

Remember When A Poem by Stephanie Lahart

Remember when I used to allow you to belittle me,

Made me feel like I wasn't worth anything?

Low self-esteem

No self-love

Wasn't quite sure of who I was

I put up with your crap because I thought I could change you.

Loved, supported, and encouraged you.

Overlooked your faults,

Ignored all of the signs,

Loved you more than myself

I lost myself in you

Forgot about my dreams

Stopped doing the things that brought me joy

Threw away every opportunity that came my way.

Busy chasing after you

Trying my best to change you

Wasted time and energy that I will never get back

Blamed you for all of my hurt and pain,

Came to the conclusion that I was to blame.

I allowed you to treat me this way.

I allowed you to be more important than ME.

I've got to accept what I allowed, and push forward

Flash-forward to today,

I am so many things.

Beautiful on the inside,

I don’t hold on to the past.

Love genuinely,

I left my heart open to love again

Yes! I do trust people,

Until they give me a reason not to.

Making somebody else suffer for what YOU did simply isn’t fair.

I've learned to put myself first, because I do count!

To love yourself is to take good care of yourself

Looking at the past serves no purpose at all.

I've got goals and dreams to fulfill.

No time for thinking what was, and what used to be.

For once in my life, I’m focusing on ME.

I love myself

I’m happy from the inside out

I’m complete.

I can stand on my own.

Wiser

Stronger

Full of life

Confidence runs through my veins.

I am a woman... A woman with purpose!

Written by Stephanie Lahart
California Author and Poet 

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! #StephanieLahart

Be Fearless

Do something that you’re scared to do. It’s time to take risks in your life. Try something you feel that you’ll fail and won’t be good at. Get out of your comfort zone.

Think about it for a minute. What is life if you’re not willing to try something different? Imagine just for one second all of the purpose that you’re filled with. We all have talents deep down in us, but we have to be willing to unleash our greatness.

It’s okay to be nervous. It’s okay to be scared. But it’s not okay to cheat yourself. I encourage you to take a step forward. Then take another one. Now keep on moving forward and don’t look back. It takes courage to do something that you’re not sure of, but it takes greater courage to make up in your mind that you won’t be stagnated anymore.

Whatever it is you want to do, do it now. You’ve visualized it. You’ve dreamed about it. You’ve wanted this for a long time. Do this for YOU. It’s time to get self-motivated! It’s time. It’s YOUR time! Your purpose is waiting on you. Don’t allow yourself to wait any longer.

Imagine all of the possibilities that are waiting for you. Just imagine.

- Stephanie Lahart (Author & Poet) 

Encouraging Poem by Stephanie Lahart

Encouragement for YOU

So, you want to give up

Nothing’s working out for you

Every time you try to rise above

Something knocks you right back down.

You try to stay strong

You try to be positive

But the pressure gets the best of you.

Life has taken you on a ride.

A ride filled with many disappointments.

Trying to get ahead

Trying to live a good life

Trying to do what’s right.

Need an opportunity.

Need someone to believe in you.

Need a chance to show the best in you.

Pressure on every side

You want to give up

Giving up in not an option

Keep your chin up!

Things are overwhelming right now

Everything is going wrong

Nothing seems to be going right

Keep your head up

Hold it up with pride!

Don’t you dare give up!

Don’t you dare look down on yourself.

Don’t you dare think that you don’t matter.

Don’t you dare think that you’re not loved.

Don’t you dare throw it all away.

See the BEST in yourself!

Take care of yourself.

Be good to yourself.

Respect yourself.

Love yourself.

Make today count.

Make today different.

Make today a new day for new beginnings.

Make today YOUR day!

YOU are somebody! Yes you are!

No matter what anybody else has to say.

YOU count! Don’t ever forget that.

- Stephanie Lahart (Author & Poet) 

Be With The One YOU Love

Are you “in love” with the one that you’re with, or did you settle? Many people are in relationships that they aren't fully committed to. On the outside, their relationship looks perfect, but on the inside, their heart belongs to somebody else.

My heart goes out to people that are in relationships and/or are married to someone because of status, family, money, etc. It must be torture to be with somebody physically, but mentally, you’re thinking of somebody else. Somebody that you TRULY wanted to be with, but you can’t.

Can you just be honest with yourself for a minute? You know that you still think about him/her. Deep down in your heart you would be with him/her if you could. You can’t and won’t get this person out of your mind. They will forever be in your heart. You sometimes fantasize about “what if.” This person was special to you, and still is. Nobody else knows your thoughts and feelings but you. You wouldn't dare speak of it to anyone.

The thought of him/her brings a smile to your face. You sometimes wish that you had the courage to do what you really wanted to do. But you’re so focused on what others will think of you.

What about YOU? Shouldn't you have the choice to be with who you want to be with? It amazes me how family can say that they love you and that they’re behind you, but if you go against the grain, they’re quick to disown you. Hmm…That’s some real food-for-thought for some of you reading this. Love is NOT controlling.

People should be able to love who they want to love. You can’t help who you fall in love with. Why should anybody have to suppress their feelings? It’s just not right.

I hope this passage helps someone out there. Be with who you want to be with. Your happiness matters. Don’t allow what others may think about you to influence your decisions. It’s YOUR life! Love, be happy, and enjoy life! We only get one life, so why waste it?

Stand up for yourself, be courageous, and most importantly of all, be truthful to yourself. Be with the one YOU love!

- Stephanie Lahart (Author & Poet) 

Stephanie Lahart Deep Slavery Poems | Poetry About Slavery

WICKED A Poem by Stephanie Lahart 

No hope, No joy, No love, No one to care for me

Broken, beaten, and mistreated

Sold to whoever could afford me

Sold like property and taken away from MY family

Lost, fearful, alone, and tormented daily.

Raped by my Master and many others too

I’m just another Nigger to be used and abused

My soul is empty

It died a long time ago

When I was taken and forced to be a slave

A slave to do whatever I was told to do.

I have no life

My life was taken away from me

That very moment when I was sold into slavery

My name was changed and I am no longer me

I am now who my Master wants me to be.

I, as a person don’t matter, but my labor does

“Go ahead girl!

Get out there and pick my cotton

Cook my food

Come lie in my bed and let me abuse your body

I OWN YOU, and I’ll do as I please!”

Keep your head down

Don’t you dare look them in the eyes

Speak when you’re told or they’ll be hell to pay

You better work hard and you’d better do right

Or you may get a visit in the middle of the night.

You better not cause any trouble

You better not say a word

You better keep your mouth closed

And do as you’re told.

Lynched, burned alive, whipped and whipped some more

Whipped ‘til my skin falls off.

Whipped to the bare bone.

Don’t try to run or you’ll get your foot chopped off

“You can’t run Nigger

I CONTROL you. I OWN you.  I PAID for you.”

Men were broken and afraid to speak up

Referred to as boys

Now isn't that some shit?

Couldn't protect or provide for their families

EVIL prevailed. BONDAGE.

Worked our men from sunrise to whenever

Backbreaking work ALL day long

Beat our men

Shackled our men

Degraded our men

Mutilated our men

Took EVERYTHING from our men.

Unable to read or write

They made sure of that

Wanted to keep us uneducated

And dependent upon them

Kept us ignorant. That was part of their plan.

Work Nigger WORK! Take care of my land.

The face of wickedness was ugly

But the sad thing about it

This was once our reality

A cold, hurtful reality

Slavery is a part of history

A history of living HELL.

Our so-called laws didn't protect us

We were just Niggers

We didn't have any rights

We didn't have a voice.

Slave breeding for YOUR profit

Raped our precious, innocent children

Tricked us and put us against one another

Light-skinned Niggers verses Dark-skinned Niggers

House-Niggers verses the Field-Niggers.

Hatred

Wickedness

Pure EVIL

We were Africans, but, because of greed,

African-Americans is what we forced to be

Kidnapped and forced to perform labor for free.

Broken families

Broken dreams

Broken promises

Broken EVERYTHING.

Written by Stephanie Lahart
California Author & Poet

Connect with Stephanie Lahart on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! #StephanieLahart

Relationship Food-for-Thought

Love me with every ounce of your soul. I want to feel your love, see your love, taste your love, and be in love. I want my body to crave you and ONLY you. I want a love that represents strength. A love that's genuine from the inside-out. When I have thoughts of you, I want a big smile to come across my face. And, when we're apart, I want to be near you. I want your touch to send chills down my spine. I want you to hold me close and be gentle with me.

I want you to treat me with the utmost respect. Love and be kind to me when I'm having a bad day. Can you do that baby? Can you do that for me? Can you love me unconditionally? I want to feel and know that I'm important to you. I want to know in my heart that you appreciate me, and you value what we have. Can you do that baby? Can you do that for me? Can you love me unconditionally? I want your support when I set goals for myself. I want to know that I've got a friend in you. I want to trust you and trust your words. I want to be able to walk next to you and hold my head up high with confidence. Are you getting this baby, do you hear what I'm saying?

I need your help, and I would appreciate it if you would take the initiative sometimes. I can't do it all by myself. We're supposed to be a team, right? Realize when I'm tired and need a break. It would be nice if you would do things without me having to ask you. Real nice! How about making MY day? I put my all into our relationship and family. Yes, I'm strong! But, help from my mate would be appreciated and welcomed. Are you getting this baby? Do you hear what I'm saying? 

Note: I wanted to give my readers some food-for-thought today. Do you see yourself in this passage?


- Stephanie Lahart (Author & Poet)   

Self-Confidence

When I was a young adult, I experienced something that almost broke my self-esteem. There was an ad in the newspaper for a job that I felt was perfect for me. Without hesitation, I called in hopes of getting an interview. When I went to the interview, the hiring manager leaned back in his chair, looked me directly in my eyes, and told me that I was TOO confident. As you could imagine, I was very confused. I mean, isn’t that what employers are looking for? Somebody who’s confident in themselves and their capabilities? Somebody who’s self-motivated, dedicated, dependable, positive, and a team player.

I learned a lot that day. I learned that some people are intimated by greatness in others. I learned that some people aren’t confident in themselves, so they don’t want to bring on anybody that they feel would be any kind of competition. I also learned that some people abuse their position as a manager or supervisor. It’s reality! Many people who are in these positions battle with their own insecurities.

I’ll leave you with this: Don’t ever let somebody else make you feel less than. Know who you are as a person. Do NOT downplay your capabilities. If you go to a job interview, and they don’t hire you, don’t sweat it. You want to be with a company that values you anyways. You want to work for a company that sees your capabilities, and are willing to allow you to grow with the company, allowing you to utilize your talents for the good of the company. You don’t want to work for a company that’s going to hold you back. Trust me! You have some companies out there that operate as such.

Don’t you dare hold your head down and think that you aren’t good enough. Stay ambitious no matter what! Hold your head up. The perfect opportunity will open up for you. Keep a positive attitude, stay focused, and don’t lose your drive. Your time will come. And when it does, don’t hold back. Stay true to yourself.

- Stephanie Lahart (Author & Poet) 

Negative Voices in Your Head

I think most of us have experienced it at some point in our lives. That negative voice inside your head. You have to be careful not to allow those negative thoughts to take over. Please don’t underestimate the power in negative thinking. It’s dangerous, and here’s why.

Negative thinking can cause fear, self-doubt, anger, anxiety, depression, and all other sorts of things. It’s time to put up a fight. Fight for your inner peace. Fight for your life. Fight for your happiness. Fight because you are important! Fight because you are worth it.

I know that sometimes things get rough in life, and you just want to say forget it all, but you can’t afford to do that. You’ve fought too long to give up now. There are brighter days ahead. I encourage you today to stand. Stand tall and face everything with heart. Be brave and stay the course.

Please, don’t give up! See yourself walking in victory. See yourself where you want to be. See yourself happy and full of life. See yourself in a good place in your life.

- Stephanie Lahart (Author & Poet) 

Food-for-Thought About Men and Women

Many women are so quick to say that men are dogs, cheats, liars, untrustworthy, etc. But what about how some women treat men? Do you realize how many hurting men that we have in this world? There are a lot of good men that have been hurt and damaged by women. Remember, men have feelings too. Be mindful of how you treat your man. If you have a good man, you should fully respect him. Don’t take him for granted. A real woman values what she has. She represents her man in every area of their relationship.

As a man, you should feel respected, loved, and supported by your mate. A woman should uplift you, not tear you down. A woman should hear you when you speak and not always feel like she has to have the last word. A woman who fully respects you will NOT be selfish. She understands that you’re a team. She has your best interest at heart and vice versa. She won’t say mean and hurtful things to you, apologize, and then do the same thing again. She won’t try to spend all of your money. No need to do that. She doesn't have any hidden agendas. She’s here to stay. She’s into you, not your money. She doesn't need to go out all of the time and be seen. She’s comfortable spending quality time with just you. She’s okay with you showing your sensitive side. It’s okay if you cry. She doesn't look down on you and think that you’re a weak man. She realizes that we’re all human and we all have feelings. She respects you for who you are. You’re a man. You’re her man.

You won’t have to go around looking for her. She’s not a runaround. She’s into one man and that’s you. One man is enough for her. She respects herself even when you’re not around. She’s the real deal. She’s what you call a “real woman.” I’ll say it again. Men, know your worth. You know what kind of woman you want by your side. Don’t go chasing everything in sight. Take your time to get to know her and, most importantly, pay attention to who she really is, not what she looks like. Physical beauty is not the most important thing. You want a woman that is going to truly love you for YOU! Choose wisely.


- Stephanie Lahart (Author & Poet) 

HAPPINESS

Are you happy? Before you answer that question, I want you to really think about it. Are you TRULY happy within? You know the truth.


Do you pretend like everything is okay when others are around? Deep down inside, you haven't been happy for a long time. You don't want anybody to know what's really going on. I mean, you have an image to uphold, right? Why are you cheating yourself? Forget about image! Your happiness is more important than that.


Is it fair that you have to pretend, when on the inside, you feel lonely, unloved, and unappreciated? You're always there for others. You're always making things right. You're always the one others call on. You're always cleaning up other people's mess. And the list goes on and on. Enough is enough! You've got to get real with yourself. You've got to take good care of yourself. You've got to learn how to balance your life so that you're not putting yourself on the back burner. You're important! You count!


Please give this some thought. Life is a gift! It's time to unwrap that gift and start living for YOU! This is a new year. It's time for some changes in your life. LIVE! Be Free! Love Yourself! Be Strong! You can do it!


- Stephanie Lahart (Author & Poet)

Parent-Teen Communication Questions to Ask Yourself as a Parent

Communication is so very important to have with your teen. Although you may be the parent, it's important for you to remember that YOUR teen has a voice too. It's extremely important for you to listen, and most importantly, communicate. Remember, there's a cause and effect to everything. If your teen is giving you a run for your money, it's time to get to the root cause of what's causing them to act the way that they do. You can't afford to ignore what is going on. I challenge you to ask yourself some questions.

Here are some examples: Does your teen feel loved by you? Does your teen trust you and feel safe? Does your teen feel like they can count on you? Does your teen feel important? There are SO many questions that you can ask yourself as a parent. I don't know about you, but I take parenting seriously, and I feel honored to be a parent.

Are you being the best parent that you can be? If not, it's time to step it up and get it right. It's never too late! Our teens need our guidance, love, and support. Teenage years are the hardest. Let your teen know today that you're there for them no matter what. Don't expect them to be perfect. Nobody's perfect, not even you. We ALL make mistakes.

I'll leave you with this: This is YOUR child. Don't give up! Don't lose hope. Be encouraged. Believe.


- Stephanie Lahart (Author & Poet)