So, you think you've got yourself a real winner, huh? Well, let me give you something to think about. Hold on tight!
Okay ladies, some of you are thinking way too small, and some of you aren't thinking at all.
Any man can buy you gifts, take you out, and spoil you like crazy, BUT…
But none of that compares to a man who truly cherishes you, loves you, respects you, and treats you like a woman of value.
I see so many women playing themselves short. What do I mean by this? Let me explain.
Many women will allow a man to cheat on them, talk crazy to them, stay out all night long, abuse them, and all sorts of other things, but as long as a man is providing them with the material things that they desire, they accept their behavior. Now isn't that something?
A lot of women play the role like they’re running things, but in actuality, they’re playing themselves. I don’t care how you try to paint the picture, if you’re with a man who doesn't fully respect you, you’re losing out, and yes, you’re settling too.
If you can be bought by material things, then there’s something VERY wrong with that picture. Material things shouldn't be that important to you where you’re willing to subject yourself to whatever a man dishes out to you.
Shoes, clothes, purses, trips, dining out, spa days, etc... don’t mean anything if a man is half-ass treating you right. His respect for you as a woman should mean EVERYTHING to you.
A woman who respects and values herself cannot be easily bought or flattered. It takes much more than that. A real woman knows her worth and she won’t settle. A real woman won’t allow material things to sway her. Material things get old after a while. A real woman wants a man with real substance. Material things are just a bonus in her eyes. That’s right, just a bonus! She’s wise enough to know that material things will not and cannot hold a relationship together. If a relationship is based on materialistic things, then what do you REALLY have?
Think about it ladies! Is your man giving you his VERY best? Remember, I’m not talking about material things. I’m talking about mentally, physically, and emotionally. Does he make you feel secure in your relationship? Does he truly value you as a woman and as a person? Does he respect you when nobody else is around?
There are so many questions you can ask yourself. Do that for yourself! Ask yourself the hard questions. Do you truly matter to him? Do you? Be honest with yourself. It’s time for you to get real with yourself.
Every woman, and I do mean every woman, wants to feel and know that she’s wanted in a relationship. So let me ask you this: Do you feel like you've settled? Did you get lonely? Did you or are you overlooking “what truly is?” Are you with someone that’s not even your type? Are you allowing a man to just have sex with you? Are you playing second? Are you his secret? Does he even claim you?
Women, you've got to wake up! You've got to set standards for yourself. If a man is denying you, hiding you, playing you, etc, you can only blame yourself. You see the play that’s going on. What are you gonna do about it? It’s all up to you. You hold the keys to how a man treats you. You do! Nobody else but you.
You know you deserve better. You know you’re wasting your time. You know he’s no good for you. You know he hasn't quite grown up yet. He’s not the man you desire, but you keep fooling yourself into thinking that you can change him. You know all of these things. He’s shown you over and over what he’s all about.
It’s better to be by yourself and have peace of mind than to be with a man who isn't worth shit! I've got to keep it real with you! I’m not going to steer you wrong. If he’s not giving you what you desire in a man, get rid of his ass. Stop wasting your time.
Do you realize how many men are out there looking for a good woman? Plenty! Trust me! A lot of women think that there aren't any good men left, but that's NOT true. They’re out there. If you truly desire a good man, set yourself free from that headache. You've got to be available. Staying in a dead-end relationship is draining, a waste of time, and it keeps you from clearly seeing what you could have.
Relationships are a blessing when it’s shared with the right person for YOU. Give yourself a chance to be loved and truly happy. Love yourself enough to know that you can do better, and you will get past this. NO MORE SETTLING. No more!
Men, this one is for you!
So, you think you’re REALLY “the man” just because you have a woman on your arm that’s as sexy as they come. She’s got all the right curves in all the right places, she has a beautiful face, and all the men are intrigued by her. She’s simply gorgeous, and that makes you feel proud!
I’m about to open up your mind to a whole new level to hopefully get you to THINK and NOT be so weak when it comes to a woman’s looks. If you’re one of those men that fall for a woman solely on looks, you’re bound to get caught up sooner or later. Trust!
What good is having a fine woman on your arm if you’re always dealing with unnecessary bullshit? Let me break down what I’m talking about.
You’re always going out of your way to please her, but she’s never satisfied. She just wants more and more. Every time you’re out and about with her, she just has to be the center of attention. It’s all about HER. She doesn't fully respect you as her mate or as her man. You always have to keep an eye on her because, deep down, you know her kind. But she looks great, right? I mean what man wouldn't want her? She’s fine!
Yep, that’s right! She loves to spend your money that you've worked so hard for. If you really take a good look at her, you will see that she’s NOT all of that. She’s not! She may have a body that makes heads turn, but so do many other women. What else does she have to offer you or your relationship? What else?
So I’ll ask you these questions: Is she REALLY worth it? If you didn't have what you have, would she even be with you? Don’t fool yourself on this one. Be honest! What good is being with a woman and you know she’s all about the money? What good is it?
I get it, she’s fine! Okay, AND…
And what else? How could you possibly feel like you're “the man” and you know the truth? You know if you lost all that you have, she’d be gone in a heartbeat. You know this! You know if you don’t give her what she desires, she’ll move on to the next. You know she uses her looks to get what she wants. You know, you KNOW!
You deserve a woman that loves you for YOU. You deserve a woman that’s going to support you, encourage you, be by your side and represent you and your relationship. You deserve a woman who will still love you if you were to take a fall and lose it all. She’ll stick by your side because she truly believes in YOU. You deserve a woman who’s going to be faithful to you and give you all of her love. You deserve a woman who you can trust and confide in. A woman who’s gonna have your back and not be doing foul shit behind your back.
A woman who believes in being faithful to one man. A woman who can make you feel good even on your worst days. She won’t be a thorn in your side, she’ll be your peace, your joy, the reason you smile when things get hard. You need a REAL woman!
She truly represents what a woman should be to her man. She’s confident so she won’t need to seek attention from another man. She’s not a run-around. She’s not easy. She’s not a gold digger. She’s none of those things.
So with all of that being said, MEN, don’t be so easily flattered by a thick ass, pretty face, or a woman who calls herself a bad bitch and/or a diva. If you’re not careful, you’ll get exactly what you asked for. Instead, take the time to get to know the woman you’re going after. Everything that looks good isn't good. Yes, a woman can have the looks and she can appear to be “the one” but, if you’re not careful, you can end up getting a rude awakening. Some women are very vindictive when they can’t get what they want or control you anymore.
I’ll leave you with this: Be careful who you chase after. You could be chasing a BITCH from hell that will suck you dry for every penny that you have. And if you pick a really bad seed, she’ll try to take everything from you, JUST BECAUSE.
Don’t let a thick ass get you caught up. Don’t let a beautiful face get you caught up. Don’t let that be the reason you become bitter after she plays you like her toy, and now you've got the attitude that all women are no good or they’re bitches.
Be mindful of who you choose to spoil. Be mindful of who you choose to spend your hard earned money on. If you pay close attention, you’ll know who’s deserving of what you have to offer. Use common sense. Real Talk! Don’t get caught up. Don’t do it!
- Stephanie Lahart (Author & Poet)