So, you hate being single and you don’t understand why you can’t find the right man to share your life with. Every time you think you've found “the one,” he ends up being just like the others you've had before. You've questioned yourself, “Why do I keep attracting the same kind of man? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I find a man that will respect and love me? Why do I attract men that like to cheat, lie, abuse me, and treat me like shit?”
Well, this is where I would like to offer you some powerful food-for-thought. But first, I need you to have an open mind so that you will be able to embrace what I’m about to say. You may be in a vulnerable position at this time, and you may not even want to face YOUR truth, but I encourage you to keep reading. This may be the day that you break free in your mind and spirit.
Food-For-Thought just for YOU:
I need you to take a good look at yourself. How do you REALLY feel about yourself? I need you to be honest when answering this question. Here’s the reason why: When you have low self-esteem, you tend to think that you have to accept anything in a relationship. You feel like you can’t do any better. You also feel like you can change that man, but I’m here to tell you, you can’t. You overlook and/or make excuses for why he does what he does. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why you do that?
Why do you feel that it’s okay to allow somebody to abuse you? Why do you put up with him staying out all night long? Talking badly to you? Why do you allow him to control you? Why are you afraid to speak up? Why do you stay with somebody who makes you sad and miserable? Why do you subject yourself to emotional distress? Why, why, why?
You may say that you don’t have low self-esteem, but I need you to take another look at yourself and go deep down in your soul. What happened to you? What have you seen? Something in your life made you think that this is okay.
If you love yourself, there are certain things that you just won’t put up with. Self-love is powerful! You respect yourself. You take care of yourself. You’re good to yourself, and you won’t accept anything less from others. Why? Because you value who YOU are.
There’s nothing wrong with being single. Embrace being single and having a peace of mind. What’s the use of being in a relationship if you’re not being mentally and physically fulfilled? A healthy relationship is a beautiful thing. It doesn't consist of drama, hurt, pain, confusion, lies, cheating, beatings, being mentally drained, etc. That’s NOT love. A person can speak the words, “I love you” but it means nothing without action behind it. You shouldn't have to beg for love. It should come naturally, if it’s the real deal.
Ladies, you have to love yourself first. I can’t stress that enough. If you’re feeling lonely, dealing with self-esteem issues, trying to get over your ex, searching to feel whole, trying to fill some kind of void, etc… It starts with YOU. A man won’t fix the problem. All it will do is open the door once again for a dead-end relationship filled with many disappointments. I’ll say it again, embrace being single. Stop being in a rush or hard up to be with a man. Give yourself peace! Slow down, think wisely, and choose a man that’s worth your love. Stop giving your love to men who don’t deserve it. Work on yourself from the inside out. Do it for YOU! You’ll be better off in the long run. Save yourself the heartache and headache. It’s not worth it, but you are!
- Stephanie Lahart (Author & Poet)